Mint Green
On a sweltering August day, in ‘93, Randy and I got some wonderful news! We found out we were expecting our first child. I was just twenty-two years old and we’d only been married a year, but, I had wanted to be a mommy my whole life, so I was ecstatic! Naturally, I couldn’t wait to transform our home into a place that reflected the new life that would soon inhabit the space.
Now, anyone who knows me- knows that I wrestle with the concept of with delayed gratification. So, waiting nine long months to discover the sex of our baby was almost more than I could stand. I wanted-no needed- to shop for that nursery! Randy and I made plans to learn the sex of our baby at my ultrasound appointment at about twenty weeks into my pregnancy. In fact, we’d planned a whole day around this appointment! (10:30 am- ultrasound appointment, 11:00 am- call everyone we know and report “It’s a …girl/boy” 12:00 pm- lunch at the all-you-can-eat Pinocchio’s pizza buffet, 1:00 pm- shop till we run out of money, 2:00 return home. )
However, when the day finally arrived, our baby would not cooperate. (The first of many subsequent episodes that persist to this day) Her little hands were strategically placed over her “girl parts,” thus obscuring the big reveal. The ultrasound technician saw our disappointment and took pity. He told us we could come back at no charge in a week and we would try again. But a week later, we got the same result. And a week after that. And the week after that.
Each time we arrived at the office, hoping to learn more about our baby- to feel more connected to her- to begin calling her by name, to decorate and shop for things that blessed and affirmed the uniqueness of our child as we understood or imagined her to be. Each time, we went home supremely disappointed.
Finally, we (and when I say “we,” I mean “I”) couldn’t take it any longer. We went shopping for the nursery and bought gender neutral bedding and clothing. This turned out to be quite a task. The problem with creating an environment that does not lean toward femininity or masculinity- one that does not offend the sensibilities of either is that it fails to inspire. There were fewer options from which to choose and none of them were all that much fun. We painted the walls and chest of drawers butter-yellow and filled the closet with a sea of mint green sleepers. It was remarkably unremarkable, but at least it was boring.
At my final ultrasound, apparently we caught our stubborn baby off-guard, because the technician placed the wand on my belly and saw what we’d all been desperately seeking for months, “little girl parts.” “It’s a GIRL!” he exclaimed. Randy and I smiled at each other. We were parents of an honest to goodness sugar and spice baby girl! A pink haze fell over our minds and we flashed forward in time to tea parties, dance recitals and even our daughter’s wedding day!
When we returned home, we knew what had to be done. We went right to work disassembling the mint nightmare! We purchased a chalet for our little princess- a stunning round crib with a fairy tale-like canopy. We proceeded to fill that room with every over-the-top, prissy, pink, lacey accoutrement God ever put on this earth. We also exchanged that drab mint green wardrobe because let’s face it; no self-respecting baby would have been caught dead in any of that androgynous garb.
When we sought to create an environment more specifically reflective of gender of our child, we found we not only had more options, but better options. We still used some mint green in her bedding and in her clothing. We just didn’t lead with the mint green/gender neutral concept.
It’s kind of like that with children’s ministry. We try to design programs and environments that will appeal to (and not offend) either sex. The problem with mint green programs and environments is that they are boring, uninspiring and ignore the volumes of research that indicate that- especially at certain ages (second and third grade) boys and girls learn differently. They bond using different methods. (boys through physical activity and girls through language driven activities) They thrive in different environments. (girls in tight cozy quarters, boys in open spaces) Is it any surprise that our teachers spend all their time managing “rowdy” boys and ignoring quiet compliant girls? No wonder teachers get frustrated and kids get bored.
Starting March 6th, we will be attempting to get reduce some of that “mint green” in the Tree House Club.
In the 9:30 and 11:00 services, 2nd- 5th grade girls will go to room 110. (formerly, the Tree House Club storage room)
There, they will enjoy a girlie-girl environment lovingly created especially for them by a team of volunteers. We will use Bible based lessons created with girls in mind. We will have tea parties, get our nails done and do crafts, weekly. The 2nd-5th grade girls will be taught by a team of mature Christian women and their mature teen daughters.
The 2nd-5th grade boys in the 9:30 and 11:00 services… will start out meeting in room 107. In the classroom, we will teach a Bible based lesson, written with boys in mind, and will use a variety of physical activities such as the paper wad free throws, a Nerf gun marksmanship games and other “minute to win it” style challenges designed to get boys moving and bonding through physical activity and team competition. When the weather is nice you will frequently find them on the playground playing Bible baseball and other activities. Their class will be led by a group of mature Christian men (hand-picked by the boys in some cases) who will be assisted by both men and women. However, tea parties and nail polish are strictly prohibited!
No comments:
Post a Comment